Thursday, March 20, 2008

Problemos by Connor A.


In the story of The Old Man and the Sea, Santiago is put up against many great challenged that seem impossible to over come at times. The old man is physically drained from being pulled by the fish for several days and not having any real food and little water. Santiago is emotionally drained because he knows that this may be his last great adventure out at sea and he may die from it. He’s also not all there mentally. He carries on conversations with himself and the marlin and in one part a small bird that lands on his fishing line. All of these take a great toll on Santiago and it is a miracle he does not die in the process of catching the great marlin.

Santiago is not prepared to be out at sea for more than a day and is mal nourished. On the first day he catches an albacore while pulling in the marlin but does not eat it until the next day. Due to his lack of eating and the over use of his hand, it begins to cramp up. “You are killing me, fish, the old man thought. But you have the right to. Never have I seen a greater, or more beautiful, or a calmer or a more noble thing than you, brother. Come on and kill me. I do not care who kills who.”(92) Santiago then decides he must eat the albacore to regain his strength. Aside from his lack of strength and little food the rope that he is holding the marlin on slips from his grip at one point and cuts his palms quite severely.

Being alone and hung and tired at sea is very emotionally draining as well. After being out at sea for a couple of days Santiago is not all right in the head. He begins talking out loud to himself and to the marlin. At one point a small bird lands on his line and Santiago says, “Take a good rest, small bird. Then go in and take your chance like any man or bird or fish.” Very often he will randomly say “I wish the boy was here.” This grueling experience is definitely taking a toll on Santiago’s physical and mental health for sure.

Lastly, the greatest obstacle for Santiago was his trip home after being dragged so far out to sea. Santiago finally catches the great marlin and is feeling happy and successful but then he realizes that he still has to get the fish to shore and there could be trouble. The wound in the marlins head is leaking blood and is like a magnet for predators in the water. “Fish that you were. I am sorry that I went too far out. I ruined us both. But we have killed many sharks, you and I, and ruined many others. How many did you ever kill, old fish? You do not have that spear on you head for nothing.”

I think Santiago could have had a better chance of catching the fish and getting it to shore if he was better prepared. If he had better food he would have been stronger and if he was able to sleep he could have been thinking clearer. Being alone did not help Santiago either. He went a little crazy out at sea and would always talk to himself of the marlin. I also feel that if Santiago wasn’t so anxious to catch a fish and stayed in closer to shore he could have caught a great fish eventually but, being as far out as he was I don’t think he stood a chance to begin with.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Connor :]
Your essay was so good! The thesis was very clear, concise, and focused. It definitely made me want to read more because of the amount of detail in it. I thought the first supporting paragraph had the best examples and quotation. I liked how you used the quote, "“You are killing me, fish, the old man thought. But you have the right to. Never have I seen a greater, or more beautiful, or a calmer or a more noble thing than you, brother. Come on and kill me. I do not care who kills who.”(92) You could tell you tried hard to find a quote because it fit very well with the main point of your paragraph. I thought your essay had very good quotes that fit in well with what you were talking about. Also your word choice was strong and that definitely added to the story. I can’t really think of any advice for later essays because this one was really good. Good Job :]

Anonymous said...

Hey connor =).. Your thesis was money. It was very clear, and concise and summed up the essay well. It did it engage me because it threw me right into the story. The first quotation is the best, it is because it is the best quote and he has the best supporting details for it. One thing the essay does very well is that he uses good adjectives and gives good supporting reasons to his quotes. One thing I reccomened is working on a stonger conclusion in your next writing piece. Overall swelltico job.

Anonymous said...

connor,
your thesis was really good. the only thing was that you said, "challenged" instead of challenges. but other than that it was clear and well written.
The first paragraph was the best, because you incorperated the quote very well into it. It must have taken a while to find such a long quote.
I liked the vocab you used in the essay. You used words like' "mal nourished," that helped bring the story to life. Also your voice is heard very well throughout the story.
the only suggestion I would have is to watch out for grammar mistakes. other than that, it was really good.

Anonymous said...

Connor,
Great job man. Exceptional, really. Your thesis was your strongest part of the story. It was obvious what you wanted to write about and showed you knew what you were talking about. Your strongest paragraph was your first paragraph. It had a well-integrated quote and the quote had a strong connection to your thesis. Your diction was great too, man. One suggestion I would make is to reread and maybe rewrite a few parts of your essay. Overall, I am impressed.

Anonymous said...

Connor,
I thought your essay was very well written. Yor thesis statement was very clear. I thought your first paragraph had the best details and examples. I think you could have found a better quote. But, i did think you had very good quotes and they flowed nicely into your paragraphs. The vocabulary you used was very good. Overall you had a great essay. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Hiiii Connor,
Good essay dude. everything was pretty clear and made sense to me. you had a lot of details and you supported everything you said very well. the best quote you had was deffinitly the first one. this is because it supported the rest of the paragraph the best. then, you backed it up and explained the quote more, which was good. overall, great story.

Suarez_1795 said...

The thesis is the impossiblity at some points of challenges Santiago faces.

The paragraph with the best quote and most detail is the one about how Santiago doesn't care who kills who. The quote is very general but it tells a lot. It tells the passion Santiago has for the fish. It also shows the fact that he knows he'll die with pride if the fish kils him or vice - versa.

Only problem is that you talked about challenges that shall be faced. Some of your points do not signalize challenges. The title is also not very suggestive of your thesis.