The woods were darker then usual
I walked faster than ever
I began to hear weird sounds
Fear took over my mind
Looking for a path
Light was in sight
Few more steps
So close
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About Me
- Mr. B-G
- “Man lowers his head and lunges into civilization, forgetting the days of his infancy when he sought truth in a snowflake or a stick. Man forgets the wisdom of the child.” - Jack Kerouac (1922 - 1969)
8 comments:
Derek, I thought this was a very good nonet. I enjoyed reading it. I think you did a great job adding suspense to it. I was really on the edge of my seat. I could picture this happening it the dark woods at night. Your careful word choice made the poem flow nicely and keep the reader engaged. I think you did a very good job on this poem.
great poem derek. It was a very good nonet. I liked how you made me keep reading to see what happen next. It made me oicture what was happening with yuor great detail. You had great word choice. good poem.
-parker
nice job with the nonet, derek.
I liked how it lead you in, especially starting with the title, which told the reader the end was to come soon.
I didn't really think you had that careful word choice, with one of the lines using "wierd" where I didn't really think it was nessesary, but that's just a minor detail...nice job with it.
Derek, i thought this was a very good nonet. You made the reader keep reader.Your poem was very intense. you had very good word choice.You had very good detail.
Please remember to try and be as specific as possible when leaving comments. It is not enough to say there was "very good word choice" and "very good detail." That is meaningless.
Say, specifically, that you liked the line "light was in sight" or that you thought the term "weird sounds" was too general or unspecific.
Good job Derek, I really enjoyed your nonet. I really liked how you put indecision into the poem with the lines “I began to hear weird sounds…Fear took over my mind…Looking for a path.” I also noticed that in the body of the poem there was too much going on and it became confusing. Overall I found the word choice very nice and the travel through the darkness very intriguing.
Derek, good poem i could picture everything that was happening to this person, how he/she was trying to get away and find a path to get away the finally they where free. This poem reminded me of the times i walk home from one of my friends house that lives somewhat close to me. You hear all these noises in the woods that freak you out and see things. Then when you get to your house open the door you feel a sigh of relief. Again good job this poem made me feel hopeful that the person got out safely.
I thought the poem was very well done from a word choice aspect. It had a good image to the words and you could really see what was happening becasue of the informative diction. It made me think of a scared kid that was frantically looking for a way out of a damp. dark woods. This poem used imagry very effectively in order to get a clear message out. I felt sort of relieved after reading the poem because the maincharacter got away out of the forest. I have not read many literary works like this but there is part of a story I once read, "Johny Treamin", where the main character is trapped din the middle of a dark woodland part and is scared that he can not find his way out. The only thing your poem had some trouble with is following the specific syllabeles of a nonet. Overall though, a great poem Derek.
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