He sits; ink pen poised and waiting
He sees her; iridescence glowing, she's captivating.
Perfect; she seems so unreal.
He attempts to write; of her beauty, how he feels.
Words can't describe her, though he tries
Paralyzed by her
One look into her eyes.
He takes a step toward her; she backs away
Hurt; confused, he begs her to stay
Tension rises; unmistakable fear.
He's worried... as down slides a single black tear.
He doesn't understand: parts his lips to ask
She trembles, slowly removing the mask.
He blinks; feels sick, the world around him a whirl
Looking up, he sees only
an Ordinary girl.
In place of beauty and perfection
Unexplainable grace, her eyes soft in the light
Satisfied with imperfection
He begins to write.
4 comments:
I pictured a guy trying to write about a perfect and beautiful girl after reading this poem. It has rhyming that doesn't follow a finite rhyme scheme, but works well for the poem. I liked that the writer in the poem could write only after he discovered the ordinary girl. I don't know exactly what it is about this poem, but I really like it. I can't think of any other poems that it reminds me of.
Christy, I love this. I absolutely love everything you've written so far. After reading this, I thought of the movie A Cinderella Story. This poem made me feel kind of disappointed, because after she showed her true self, he didn't seem to approve. I thought all the semi-colons after the first couple words were a little weird. They really emphasized the word in front.
I absolutely love this poem. Your word choice is excellent; every line makes you think. I liked that the rhyming is choppy almost, but it fits the theme of the poem very well, in that perfection is not perfection. It made me think of someone who is not satisfied with themselves, but the rest of the world thinks they’re beautiful just how they are. Reading this poem made me both sad for the subject, but also inspired. I’ve read other poems with similar themes, but none that capture me quite like this one. Awesome job!
wow christy! this poem is amazing. Your word choice was absolutly perfect. It was like i could picture this girl who never thought of herself as pretty but then the boy who loves her thinks everything about her is beautiful. I loved your rhyme scheme too.
i thought this was really well written. amaaaaaaaaaazing job!
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