It was a beautiful Saturday morning and Fred was just waking up to get ready to go snowboarding. It had snowed last night so the decided to go to a nearby mountain to go snowboarding for a few hours. Fred and his crew loved snowboarding more than anything. Just the energy of being awake at 630 A.M and being the only one on the roads, or riding down the mountain as fast as you can in a new layer of snow. When the got to the mountain at roughly 8:30 A.M, they out on their gear, bought a lift ticket, and hopped on the ski lift.
This early in the day, the lifts were quick considering that no one was here yet that was just learning to ski or snowboard. Usually around noon, a lot of people show up that haven’t gone skiing or snowboarding so the lifts stop every few minutes for the few people who fall off the lift when trying to get on. The first few runs down were great, and the snow was in pristine conditions. Fred and his friends were glad they went to the mountain today.
Soon after, they came to a trail with no sign. They looked everywhere until finally, they found it in the snow. They realized that it was a double black diamond, so they looked on the map to see where it would take them. After repeatedly looking over the map, they could not find it. Since it wasn’t on the map, and the sign was buried in snow, Fred figured that the maintenance patrol didn’t really keep up with that trail anymore, and it could be dangerous.
Fred and the gang were up for a challenge, and decided to try it out. In the beginning, it wasn’t too bad and there were a few trees. The trail was getting rapidly dense, and the branches of the trees started getting in the way of our trail. They started to slow down to avoid trees, and while doing so they saw a stream in the distance. They couldn’t go back now, it would be too long of a walk and there were a few hills they weren’t sure they could walk up. If the stream wasn’t so wide, they could have tried to jump it. They weren’t sure what to do, so they stopped for a minute.
Fred told them that they should just try hydroplaning across. They would need to have a lot of speed to do this though, which they didn’t have. The group of snowboarders finally came up with and idea, 1 person would go at a time, and the rest would give them a starting push. As long as they could hold their balance, they could make it across. Everyone had gone now, except for Fred and he had no one to push him. Fred looked around for another way over, but the only thing he found was a log over to the left. The log went right over the stream, and then, at the end of the log there would be a long drop.
“Yo Fred how you gonna get across?” Mike asked.
“Well,” Fred began, “I think I can, but I don’t have much speed.”
The crew had been filming throughout the day, and he saw this as a perfect opportunity to get some good footage. He told his buddy Mike to get out the video camera, and Fred strapped in. Mike was ready, and Fred pushed off. As he approached the log, he did a backside 180, landing on the log very smoothly. The log was icy, and he was losing balance, but he managed to stay on till the end, in which he leaned on his tail, and spun. He jumped off the log, still spinning and grabbed his board to do a Melon. He knew that it would be perfect for the video.
His friends slid over to him and congratulated him, and they slowly got out of this double black diamond trail. This was one of the best snowboarding days this season, and he was pumped. They went down to the lodge, grabbed some hot chocolate and some curly fries, and enjoyed the food. They went back for a run or two, and called it quits. It may have been cold that day, but they all new it was worth it.
8 comments:
Zack,
I was really worried about Fred getting over that log. Have you had an experience like this? Keep writing!
I really liked your story. My favorite part was when Fred didn't know how to get over the log. I liked how you used a lot of detail in the beginning of the story. I liked how you chose to have Fred backside 180 over the log. That made the story really interesting. After i read the story it made me want to go out and go snowboarding. The detail on when they were snowboarding down the black diamond was very good and I could only suggest that you could add some detail in the beginning.
zack, man, what an amazing, adrenaline rushing story. wow. i am just over taken by this. i could personaly connect to this story because i snowboard too. i have seen trails like that on the mountain, but im too smart to go down them. i also like the feeling of landing a great trick i've never done before, just like fred did.
the main character sort of changes over the story. at first, when he sees the trail, he feels confident that he can make it down and back to the hotel. but when they encounter the stream, he realizes how ingorant he was.
my favorite part of the story was at the climax. when fred had realized he must go over the log if he wanted to survive was great. for him to have the "balls" to do tricks over it while filming was amazing. i know i would not have been able to do that. "He told his buddy Mike to get out the video camera, and Fred strapped in. Mike was ready, and Fred pushed off." i extremely liked this part becuase i had no idea if fred was going to live or not.
this tales best quality was the climax. i believe this because the rising action, which was great, just didnt have the suspense that the climax did. i feel proud of fred for landing that.
some advice i give you iss to reread your story and check your speling.
zack, man, what an amazing, adrenaline rushing story. wow. i am just over taken by this. i could personaly connect to this story because i snowboard too. i have seen trails like that on the mountain, but im too smart to go down them. i also like the feeling of landing a great trick i've never done before, just like fred did.
the main character sort of changes over the story. at first, when he sees the trail, he feels confident that he can make it down and back to the hotel. but when they encounter the stream, he realizes how ingorant he was.
my favorite part of the story was at the climax. when fred had realized he must go over the log if he wanted to survive was great. for him to have the "balls" to do tricks over it while filming was amazing. i know i would not have been able to do that. "He told his buddy Mike to get out the video camera, and Fred strapped in. Mike was ready, and Fred pushed off." i extremely liked this part becuase i had no idea if fred was going to live or not.
this tales best quality was the climax. i believe this because the rising action, which was great, just didnt have the suspense that the climax did. i feel proud of fred for landing that.
some advice i give you iss to reread your story and check your speling.
that was a awesome story. i personally conncest to this story becaue i hate when there are too many skiing. it just got me pumped and got me excited for snowboarding thias weekend. i've seen trails like this when but i didn't have the guts to go down them. i wish i had as much confidence as teh character going over the stream. i think the character doesn't change overteh story because nothing affects him and all he does is some nasty tricks.my favorite part of the story was when he did the tricks off the log because i wished i could do them, but i cant and the tricks were just insane. i wouldn't change anything in this story, great job, thumbs up!
Zack, good story dude. I can relate to what Garret said because i hate when the mountains are crowded and you can barely get down them. The best part of the story was the conflict of the log and the stream. I didn't know what Fred was going to do and how he was going to get over the stream. But, you made the story interesting by having his friend film him doing a trick onto the log and over the stream. Overall, a exciting and good story.
Zack,
Nice story man. I really liked your story, because the detail you used really helped me to picture what was happening. Also, I can relate to your story because I ski in the winter.
The main character changes over throughout the story because at first, he's not sure if he can make it across the stream After he does, he gets more confidence.
My favorite part of the story was the climax. I really liked the detail you used and even told us the tricks he was doing. I don't have any advice except to maybe add more to the conclusion.
Zack I liked your story alot. I want to start skiing soon. Reading your story gave me some ideas.I wouldn't change anything to your story except to expand the conclusion.
My favorite part of the story was the climax. Your story was really descriptive. You did a great job!
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