BOOM! Was all you heard coming from Travis’s basement. It was no surprise to Lily when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Travis had always been into experiments. He never really did well in school except for science class. Travis had been trying for a while now to come up with an invention to heal cuts quickly & without pain. He had yet to do so but kept trying anyways. Lily had always been a supporter of Travis. She was in love with him since freshman year when they met at a school fundraiser. Though Travis knew that, he had no feelings for her, he thought she was too clingy and always getting into his business and asking him too many questions. It made him feel bad but the thought of her made him cringe and he wouldn’t mind if she had stopped interrupting into his life. But Lily was not the main problem right now, now he needed to focus on his experiments.
Travis had been struggling for hours and hours. Nothing seemed to work and he was getting more frustrated than ever. And just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse he looked to the side and there was Lily’s face again. This was her third time in the same hour, Travis was getting extremely annoyed. “Lily why are you here AGAIN?! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME IN JUST ONE HOUR! DON’T YOU GET HOW OBNOXIOUS YOU ARE, JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Travis screamed.
Lily was shocked and startled by how Travis had just yelled at her. She searched for words but nothing came out. They both stood there and looked at each other. Lily didn’t want to believe that those words just came out of him mouth, and Travis couldn’t believe he actually told her the sad awful truth. Lily didn’t know much at the point other than she needed to leave now and wasn’t going to return back to this basement anytime soon or maybe ever again. Travis was angry and went to go chase after Lily when he knocked over some chemicals and they spilt into one another all over his arm. By the time he could get to the stairs Lily was gone, long gone.
It wasn’t until the next day when Travis woke up to put medicine on his arm where he had cut himself from a knife. It bled and bled and now he had to wait for it to heal, but last time he checked on it, it wasn’t looking any better. He really hated going to hospitals so he was going to refrain from going as long as possible. As he got out some medicine and went to go put in on he realized something….it was gone! What had happened?! The cut was deep and hadn’t been treated properly for it to heal just over night and disappear, even if he had gone to the hospital and gotten it treated no cut like it could just vanish in a 24 hour time frame. That’s when it hit him, the chemicals! That must be it! When he went to chase after Lily and all those chemicals spilt into his arm. Had he really done it?! He finally figured out a solution! He rushed into the basement to figure out what the chemicals were. Travis knew that any good scientist wouldn’t just rely on one trial. So he gathered a few of his friends who had cuts here on there on them. He tried and to his surprise it had worked, on all four people. This was amazing! Travis couldn’t wait to share with everyone the great invention! He thought he would tell Lily first, she was the only one who believed in him and was there while everyone else told him to get a real job. Then he realized that Lily wasn’t there anymore. But he snapped out of it and Lily didn’t seem to be a concern anymore, she never really had been to him. Now it was time, he had to go inform everyone of this magnificent product.
It didn’t take long for the word to get out to everyone in the town and even beyond. Everyone was talking about this new product and couldn’t wait to get their hands on it. Soon the press and everyone were at Travis’s door step waiting and wanting to catch a glimpse of it. It wasn’t until a week or so after the unforgettable day in Travis’s life that he got all the products packaged and ready to be sold. His invention sold everywhere and he made millions and billions of dollars. Travis had made more money than he knew what to do with. Right after Travis was exposed to the public about his product he was soon overwhelmed by the companies and girls that wanted to meet with him. Travis could get used to this lifestyle, he now had everything, he had money, fame, and girls that weren’t obnoxious like Lily.
Five years had passed now and Travis loved his life, he couldn’t get enough of this. Then he realized he was missing something, he couldn’t figure it out right away but he knew something just wasn’t right. Travis decided to go back to his hometown for a visit. Everything was exactly how he remembered it, small and full of life. He visited old friends and family, he had really missed them, it was good to be home. It wasn’t until around dinner time when he decided to go to his favorite restaurant for dinner. He was enjoying his meal when he looked up and this beautiful girl graced on by. He couldn’t help but look at her and stop her to ask her, her name. He approached her and got nervous, this never happened to him before he was used to girls coming up to him. “Excuse me miss, what’s your name?”
“Oh my gosh, Travis, Is that you?!”
“Lily?!”
“Yes! Travis, long time, no see, how are you doing?! And why are you here?”
“I came home for a while to visit, see how things were here and stuff”
The two talked all night and much to Travis’s surprise they got along great. He realized that this is what he’s been missing, Lily.
Two weeks had passed and the two were inseparable, they did everything and went everywhere. Finally Travis brought it up and openly said the two should date. Lily looked at him and said she couldn’t. Travis was so confused, what? Why?! Lily finally broke down and told him. “A year and a half after you left, I went for a regular check up, and then the doctors informed me that I had cancer, there is no cure or medicines that I can go on for the kind that I have. There are not much more the doctors or I could do except live the rest of my life as a normal person.” Travis was shocked and didn’t know what to do or say next. He was so scared for her, how could she act like it was okay? All Travis knew was that he wanted to spend every day with her; he had missed out on her for too many years to go back home and just leave her.
Travis was now standing at the funeral, listening to people giving him sympathy. He couldn’t believe she was gone less than a couple of weeks after she informed him of her illness. They money, fame, and other girls didn’t matter to him anymore; Lily had taught him one of the most important lessons he’ll learn in his life. He was sorry for being too many years too late. Travis regretted the fact he didn’t have as much time with Lily like he’d like. He was glad he decided to come back home for a bit a visit though; it’s never too late to try to make things right.
8 comments:
Lida, I really liked this story it reminded me of the movie A Walk To Remember. It made me think about how you should not take life for granted. The character goes from not having cancer to cancer. It is important to the story because she becomes less annoying. My favorite part of the story is when Travis comes back to town for Lily. I think the conflict is the best quality. I would say check your spelling and word choice some were a little out of order or place. overall it was a very good story and i enjoyed it.
Lida,
When I began to read your story, I thought that Travis was a jerk. Until I read where Lily gets cancer, I felt so bad for the both of them. What I remember most about this story was the chemical spill on his arm after chasing Lily. He should have thanked Lily, because if she didn’t run out of the basement like that then there no way he would have made all of that money. This story made me think of the movie Just Friends. In that movie, the girls friend become really rich, and comes back, and expects, she’s still going to like him.
I think that Travis changed over the cores of the story. I think he become more aware of peoples feelings, and learned to love his old life. If he wasn’t willing to go back to his home town he would never have known Lily was going to die.
My favorite part of the story was when Lily runs out of the basement. Although I think she should have stood up for herself, and told Travis the truth.
“A year and a half after you left, I went for a regular check up, and then the doctors informed me that I had cancer, there is no cure or medicines that I can go on for the kind that I have. There are not much more the doctors or I could do except live the rest of my life as a normal person.” That line stood out to me because I was not expecting anything like that was going to happen. Over all I think you did a wonderful job!
LIDA POO, I think you did a great job on your story. I felt sad after reading it because it really touched me and i felt bad for Travis. The images that went in my head was the chemical spilling on his arm, you described it well. The main character changed alot over the story, because he was annoyed with Lily in the beginning and at the end he wanted her. This is important to the story because it changes the main character. The best part of the story was when he figured out he was succesful with the chemical. "It didn’t take long for the word to get out to everyone in the town and even beyond." Stuck out to me because it proved he was succesfull. I think the best quality in the story is how Travis changed from beginning to end. Overall great job Liddy Liddy Lida.
This was a great story. It made me think that you shouldn't take life for granted. It really makes you think about what is important in life. Lily, in the stroy xhanges dramatically over the years. At the beginning she's annoying, but towards the end she becomes more mature. She changes because she develops cancer. My favorite part of the story was when they met eachother again after five years and got along really well.
The best quality of the story is the plot, the entire idea put into it. It develops well. It was really good and showed the importance of family and true friends.
LIDA HILLS =]
I absolutely loved your story. It was amazing. The story made me think about how fast time can go by. Travis definitely changed from the beginning to the end of the story. At first he was a little self -centered and caught up in his own life but at the end he was more aware of other people and cared about something other than his own success in science. If Travis didn't change the story would have been significantly different because he would have been so focused on himself he wouldn’t have realized that Lily was diagnosed with a deathly disease. My favorite part of the story was when you said, "They both stood there and looked at each other. Lily didn’t want to believe that those words just came out of him mouth, and Travis couldn’t believe he actually told her the sad awful truth. Lily didn’t know much at the point other than she needed to leave now and wasn’t going to return back to this basement anytime soon or maybe ever again." It was a really emotional part of the story and makes you feel bad for Lily without knowing that you are going to feel a lot worse for her in the end. Something that impressed me about your story was that you took four unrelated topics (science, love, fame, and cancer) and made them flow together extremely naturally in a well written story. Overall I think you did a wonderful job on the story and I can not think of anything that you could have done better. Good Job!
Lida,
I loved your story. It was really great how you came up with such a wonderful story plot. I felt sad when it ended. I remember how mean he had been to Lily in the beginning. The idea that this bring to my head is that you should charish what you have because it may not be there for long. what this story made me think of was a book that I have read before.
the main character does change in the story. He changes from normal and kind of mean to famous, rich, and nice. This story is written in first person. The way that the cange is important to the story is that if he didn't make that fromula then a lot of cuts would take longer to heal and he would not have gone back to be with Lily. This is how the story changed.
My favorite part of the story wasz when he met back up with Lily. This occured in the climax. A line that resembles this is “Oh my gosh, Travis, Is that you?!” What stood out about this lilne to me is Lily's surprise to recognize Travis.
This tale's best quality is it's whole plot. I loved it. A line that goes with this is, "It wasn’t until the next day when Travis woke up to put medicine on his arm where he had cut himself from a knife. As he got out some medicine and went to go put in on he realized something…it was gone!"
I wouldn't change anything about your story, except it kind of eneded quickly. Good job!
LIDA MAE, really good story. Everything went well and flowed together. I really got into the story and always wanted to know what was going to happen next. I believed the strongest part of your story were the characters. Travis and Lily both changed throughout the story. Travis went from being anxious to finish his experiment, to being famous and making a ton of money. And Lily went from being annoying to being mature and very attractive. The best part of the story was the characters, but i still thought the whole story was good. Great job.
Lida,
I really enjoyed reading your story. I agree with Meghan, it reminded me of the movie A Walk to Remember. It must be really hard to be in love with someone who has a deathly illness, and this story really made it clear how terrible it must be. Travis changes a lot through out the story. He goes from being someone who could careless about a girl who's in love with him, so being the sweetest guy. I think that's why you should always give someone a chance even if you don't think it's going to work out in the beginning, because you never know what could happen. My favorite part of the story was when they met eachother again after five years. It shows how much people can change over a couple of years, and you don't always see what you're missing out on if you don't give someone a chance. I think your best quality is your description. The story was so well written and described that you could feel the mood change. Overall, you wrote a very enjoyable story and I liked it a lot. :)
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