Thursday, January 31, 2008

Near the End of Existence by Corey C.


The year was 2552. The last of the human existence has gone into hiding. The planet has been ravaged into war by the Predators, and the Galactic army. The war has plagued planets across the Galactic Republic, and entire civilizations have vanished. The Republic has been scarred badly. The president Vladimir Bhutto has been assassinated, and vice president John Huckabama Edwards McCain has been taken into captivity. Major General George Rumsfeld brought the division back to the command post. There they had taken a last stand until the back up arrived.

Chief of Staff Kade Klause was on his way with the Galactic Army. The 120,000 soldiers marched there way through the valley. They took each step with pride, because they were the last chance of hope for the human civilization. Some were equipped with plasma rifles, while others had the M-600 which was the newest version of the old M-60. The hover tanks strolled on by the soldiers, giving them a sense of protection. Just then, the soldiers walked up to a mound of freshly murdered bodies. By the look of it, the Predators must have eaten their organs, and left the rest to rot. Klause decided to bury the bodies, and he dug a grave 15 feet down, 10x10 wide. After the bodies were laid to rest, the chief of staff gave a short speech, and then they had a moment of silence.

Meanwhile Major General Rumsfeld was holding off the predators from trying to reach the city, where the humans were hiding. The predator’s landstalkers were moving in. Major General Rumsfeld took an RPG, and propelled a grenade loaded with millions of nano robots, that would quickly eat away the metal and computers of the landstalker. The behemoth came crashing to the ground, and rattled it so hard, that a giant gorge split the battle filed in half. This gave Rumsfeld an advantage, because it would slow the predators down. It was no problem for the soldiers, because there booster jet packs would get them right over the gorge. With every shot that the Predators took, the more vicious they got. They needed to be taken down in one shot. Major General Rumsfeld then called in Special Forces. Major Matthias Mattox plotted there vantage points, gave them special plasma rounds, and told them to move out.

Chief of Staff Klause was making his way to the Abandoned City as they called it, because it seemed like no one was there. He needed to make it up and over the mountain, through the Forest of Solitude, and across the river Thames. Once across they would have to hike 3 more miles until they reached the command post of Major General Rumsfeld. There he would try and crush the Predators for good, save the human race from being slaughtered. Getting up the mountain would be a treacherous feat. Once over it would be a quick hike to the river.

At the command post, Major Matthias and his other snipers took up there positions. He loaded the Plasma round into his chamber, and looked into his scoped. He aimed for the head. He pulled the trigger, and the bullet screeched as it left the barrel. The bullet was traveling at 2000 mph. The plasma heated up. It entered the head, and once inside it exploded. The limp body fell to the ground. Rumsfeld called in more Special Forces, and had them take up positions all around the battle field. All over, the heads were exploding. The predators switched out soldiers, and the Galactic Armies sniper rounds didn’t work any more. They needed Chief of Staff Klause’s plasma rifles.

Back at the mountain, they had made a trail for the tanks to travel up. They went slowly to make sure nothing went wrong. Five hours later, the last tank had made it up, and the last hundred soldiers followed. Going down the mountain would be easier, but they had to regroup at the base. There they made camp, and they would rest for a few hours. When the troops had awakened, it was sunny out. They picked up camp, and decided to get into the shade of the forest, before it got too hot. They twisted and winded around the serpent like path towards the river. Once at the river, they deployed the bridge. They all got across and headed for the command post. A couple miles later, they could hear the gun fire, and see the smoke from the flames of the destroyed land walkers. They readied there guns with the plasma rounds, and got into formation. They moved in, and started the attack. The predators were no match for the fully automatic plasma rifles. Chief of Staff Kade Klaus converged with Major General Rumsfeld. With the Plasma Rifles, and the snipers, the predators had a grim chance of winning. The leader came in, and the entire army fired upon him, like a firing squad in World War Two. The leader fell, and the Predators were crushed. Earth was saved, and the other planets were free of there rule. The galaxy had been liberated from evil.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was an interesting story. Nice names. I think the story would have been better if it had been written in the first-person. But it works in third-person as well. There was a lot of detail. thought that it was interesting that you named characters in the story after politicians.

Anonymous said...

i think this was a very interesting story. i could really picture the battle scene and what it was like. i think it was good that there really wasn't a main character and it was easy to focus on the plot of the story and not one persons problems in particular. i would have liked some more discription of the predators to see what they looked like but aside from that it was a pretty good story.

Anonymous said...

This was a really interesting story. It was really good. My favorite part was the end when the world and the universe were saved from the predators. I liked how you went from one setting to another. It made the story more interesting. The best quality was the amount of detail put into story. It made it seem moe realistic nd like I was there and it was actually hapening. Good jod!

Anonymous said...

This story is very good, and the future time plot adds a nice story line. There is no main character in this story, it is more like a group of soldiers. My favorite part of the story is when they developed a plasma rifle which strangely destroys every predator. It could be used in a regular M-600 rifle. The story’s best quality is the attention to detail. Another good quality is the creativity of the piece. What I would suggest to fix is to add more detail and story content to the falling action and resolution. Overall, very good story.

Anonymous said...

Hey Corey,
I thought, when I was reading this, was that this was a really good story. I really like how you did a futuristic battle. I felt kind of nervous after this story, because this is what truly could happen in the future if we aren't careful. Your characters didn't really change except from a nobody to a hero.

My favorite part was the ending. I liked when it said, "The leader came in, and the entire army fired upon him, like a firing squad in World War Two. The leader fell, and the Predators were crushed." I just really liked how it ended like that. I thought the best quality of your story was the exposition, because you described everything very well and I didn't get lost. Overall great story.