It was my 16th birthday, May 27th, probably one of the most important events in a teenage girl’s life, but was soon to be the worst. I was in the bathroom getting ready, when I heard my cell phone start ringing. I read the caller ID, Heather, home. I don’t remember the last time she had called me from her house phone. Ever since she got her own cell phone, she hasn’t come close to using her house phone. I already knew what she was going to say. She was going to start singing the happy birthday song. She has done it every year, since we were 5.
“Hello?” I answered trying to sound surprised.
“Kim?” A questioned voice answered back.
“Yeah.” I was confused. This isn’t Heather, what’s going on?
“Hi Hun. It’s Mrs. McMan I have to tell you something. Something happened to Heather.” She was talking in a quite voice, with a quiver.
I felt my stomach in my throat. My heart began to race faster and faster. What was going on? Where is my best friend and why she isn’t on the other line singing happy birthday to me like she always does? I then could here Mrs. McMan started to choke up and give the phone to her husband.
“Kim, are you still there?” It was now Mr. McMan on the phone.
“Mhm.” I said.
“Kim, this morning, Heather was killed. She was going on her morning run and was hit by a drunk driver. His voice soon began to fade and I could tell that he tried to hold back his tears. I’m so sorry dear; I know this must be hard, especially to find out on your birthday.” His voice was very quiet, and I could tell he was trying not to cry.
I hung up the phone, and collapsed on the floor. Everything in my mind went blank. I closed my eyes so I could see nothing. I blocked my ears with my hands so I could hear nothing, and I just laid there. I was thinking, is this real? Did my best friend just die on my birthday? How can I live another day without her? Why me, why me? I then started to hear the faded sound of our telephone ring and a few seconds later, a loud shriek from my mother. I heard her panicked foot steps running up the stairs. She came into my room and fell next to me on floor and held me in her arms.
“I’m so sorry Kim.” She said while kissing my fore head.
Days had past, and I hadn’t talked to any of my other friends. The funeral was tomorrow, and I was afraid I couldn’t handle it, but my mom had promised me that if I couldn’t take it that she would bring me home. Heather and I always said that wearing all black to a funeral was so weird. We said that if one of us died we wouldn’t wear black; we would wear bright, fun colors. Joking obviously, not one of us thought we would die before we turned 18.
I decided that I wouldn’t wear black, and wear crazy colors. I wore a hot pink short dress with black pumps, and a crazy multicolored head band. When I looked at my self in the mirror a tear streaked down my face, and then I started to giggle. Heather would have loved this. I looked ridiculous.
The funeral was at a beautiful cemetery in a small town where Heather lived before she moved. When I got there everyone was staring at me, but I didn’t care. I knew Heather would have done it for me. It was raining-classic. Heather always said that every funeral she had been to it was raining, and in a lot of the dramatic movies she’d seen.
When the priest started speaking, I tuned him out. I started thinking of a time when Heather and I went to the beach together. It was last summer. We went to the outer banks in
“Right now?” I asked.
“Yes, right now. Okay, truth or dare?” She said.
“Um, truth.”
“You’re such a baby. Dare. I dare you to kiss one of the French boys tonight, but not the one with the long brown hair, he’s mine.
“No way!”
“Yes way, we are never are going to see them again and you still haven’t gotten your first kiss yet. So, you can just practice on some hottie that you’ll never speak to again.”
For some reason, she had convinced me just saying that. She usually has to go on for about 15 minutes before I give in. You can probably guess what happened. We had a great time and at the end of the night, I kissed the French boy. I’m also pretty sure that Heather had gotten to second base with the other French boy. That was one of many great memories Heather and I shared together.
“We love you and miss you so much. We’ll pray for you. Amen.” Heather’s uncle was finishing up his speech.
That was the last speech. Everyone put there flowers down, and said some last words. I waited until everyone got in there cars, so I could say something. I knelt down beside her grave, and started talking to her like she was right there in front of me and we were looking in each others eyes.
“Heather, you are what made me who I am. I was only comfortable with you, and I am going to miss you so much. I really don’t how I am going to live my life without you. No matter how far heaven might be, you’ll always be my best friend. I love you and I will never forget you. There’s always a spot for you in my heart. Goodbye for now.”
I started to cry and right then the sun came out. I knew Heather was listening and that made me feel so much better.
7 comments:
Maddie, I absolutely loved this story. Although it made me feel kinda sad it was great. The main character changes from having everything like her best friend to not having her best friend anymore. My favorite part was the end when she was sitting by her grave talking to her.
I think the conflict was the best part of the story. Piece of advice i would give you would be to check your spelling and maybe check your words. Overall it was an amazing story. Great Job.
Madeline-
I really liked your story. It was really sad, but I couldn't stop reading it. It reminded me of how thankful we all should be for the things we have because they could be gone in a split second, like in your story. Kim changed a lot throughout the story. At first she couldn't even believe that her friend had actually died. Then she realized that she shouldn't be sad she should think about all the good times that her and Heather had together.
I think that overall the best quality of yuor story was the use of dialogue. There wasn't much of it but the climax of the story happened while she was on the phone with Heather's parents. I think that your story was really good but you just might want to chek your spelling.
I really enjoyed and liked reading your story!
that story was excellent! it made me think about my life a lot. i even got the chills when i read the part where she got a phone call form the parents saying heather had died. this story was just soo well put together. what if my best freinds died? thats all i thought baout when i was reading your story.the main character does change durign the story. her moods chage from happy to very sad to happy again.
my favorite oart of the story was when the sun came out at the end of the day and she knew that her best freind was listening to her. i dont think there is anything you need to change inthis story. it was perfect and i really enjoyed reading your story.
Maddie,
Your story was outstanding. I really felt sad for Kim. I can’t even imagine getting a phone call on my 16th birthday and finding out my best friend was killed. On thing I can clearly remember about your story, was the funeral. You were very descriptive. I also really remember how Kim began to speak to Heather at her grave, and the run cam out.
I think that as the story progressed Kim changed into a stronger person. I know I could never handle going to my friends funeral and not just balling my eyes out. Kim tried to stay strong for Heather.
I think the part where she gets the phone call is my favorite part of the story. You were descriptive at that part of the story.
“Heather, you are what made me who I am. I was only comfortable with you, and I am going to miss you so much. I really don’t how I am going to live my life without you. No matter how far heaven might be, you’ll always be my best friend. I love you and I will never forget you. There’s always a spot for you in my heart. Goodbye for now.” That was my favorite part of the story because I can actually picture what was going one. Over all I think you did a great job!
Maddie D.
Your story was so cute but very sad. I liked it a lot. I could really understand how much they meant to each other. The relationship the two girls shared reminds me of the relationship I have with my best friend.
No I don’t think she has changed overtime. Not until the fact that her best friend just died on her birthday, her emotion changed but not herself. It is okay that she hasnt really changed.
My favorite part of the story was the ending, when Kim knelt down at Heathers grave to talk to her. “Heather, you are what made me who I am. I was only comfortable with you, and I am going to miss you so much. I really don’t how I am going to live my life without you. No matter how far heaven might be, you’ll always be my best friend. I love you and I will never forget you. There’s always a spot for you in my heart. Goodbye for now.” SO CUTEEE!
Madeline,
Your story was so fantastic. I think that if it were made into some type of movie, it would become my favorite, and maybe win some golden globes or something. Even though it was wicked sad, I think that it was cool how at the end, you had Kim wear funky colors to the funeral instead of black, just as the girls had planned. It shows that Kim wasn’t going to let death separate her and her best friend. I think that over the story, Kim changed into a stronger person.
My favorite part of the story was the ending when Kim is talking to Heather in her grave. “Heather, you are what made me who I am. I was only comfortable with you, and I am going to miss you so much. I really don’t how I am going to live my life without you. No matter how far heaven might be, you’ll always be my best friend. I love you and I will never forget you. There’s always a spot for you in my heart. Goodbye for now. I started to cry and right then the sun came out. I knew Heather was listening and that made me feel so much better.”
Overall, I think that your stories strongest point was the plot and story line. Everything was very descriptive as well, so I think that was a strong point too. For the future, I don’t have anything to suggest. Keep writing fantastic stories. Awesome job Madeline!
Mads i really liked your story. It made me think of how this situation can occur anytime throughout life. Your theme was really strong in this story and it made me think of how important the people around you are. I believe the main character changes a lot throughout the story because she had a best friend in the beginning of the story but ended up without one in the end. My favorite part of the story is the flashback between the main character. This is because it occurs at a sad period and it lightens up the story a little bit. I think your flashbadk was one of the best qualities because it showed how important the two girls relationships were to eachother. I dont think you need to change anything about your story but one thing I suggest is to check some of the spellings for your words. I loved your story mads.
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