Friday, October 12, 2007

What Means More to Me by Anna R.


What is wrong with today’s people? All they care about is money, money, money. What happen to just sitting down, and telling our most memorable stories? Instead all we tell people are what we want, and what we THINK we need. It is so bad. I mean, I know it is cool to have a cell phone and iPod, but come on do we really need decorations and accessories for these things? I don’t think so.


Probably, my most valuable financial item would have to be my Patriots jersey. I remember I got it for one of my birthdays. Then, that same year they were in the Superbowl. We got to go to my aunt’s house for a Superbowl party. Before we left I pulled on my jersey. I look at myself in the mirror and think, “we are going to win this.” I wore my jersey for good luck and no other reason. I leave my house and enter the car to leave for the party. I had so much fun at the party. I talked to all my cousins and friends. We had so much fun watching the game. We even did this betting thing. Everybody was saying, “great shirt” or, “where did you get that?” We stayed the whole night, and when the game was done, the Patriots had actually won. My first year with my jersey, and they win the Superbowl. I was amazed. This thing was good luck. I felt, for some reason, like I was on top of the world with this jersey.

For my priceless moment, I chose one of my softball games. The score was 6-6. It was the seventh inning. Abbey was on third waiting to score the run to win the game. I’m up at bat, and I am ready for anything. She throws two balls, but then she throws a strike, I am ready now. The next pitch, I foul it off. The count is 3-2. I nervously wait for the pitch to come. She winds up and throws the pitch. I swing and make contact. The ball goes flying, but I have know clue where. I just put my head down and run. I finally get to first and turn around to home plate. I see, to my happiness, Abbey safely touch the plate. Our team starts cheering. We had won the game 7-6 by my hit. I walk from first to home, and there is my team saying “good job,” and “great hit.” It was a wonderful moment in my life that I would probably remember for a long time.


How can I compare two moments that have given each a wonderful day? They are both valuable to me, because both of these moments have given me great memories. I will probably always remember what has happened those days in my life. The difference is that I will always have the jersey to easily remember what memories I have spent with it. The softball game, on the other hand, I have to remember. I have nothing to remember it by, so I will have to make sure it stays in my mind, and that will make me remember it easier. I think the softball game really gave me hope that I was really good at softball, and I should keep on playing. The jersey is just an object to help support my football team, the Patriots. I will probably, when I get older, just value the jersey as an object. The game I will value more, because it really affected my life. That is the difference between a financial worth moment, and a priceless moment.


What I am now thinking is how I define value. That is a very interesting question, because everyone has a different answer. My answer would have to be, some object or feeling that changes your life. The object or feeling really means something, like you would do anything in the world to have it or remember it. That is how I define value. I guess what I value is a memory that inspires my life, or makes me happy. If it were an object it would have to be either an object that someone gives me, because they think of me, or I value an object that I got somewhere that has some memory attached to it. In the end I have decided what I value in my life, have you?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

anna,
i thought this was a great essay. when i read it, i could feel that there was a lot of feeling put into this. it was very convincing on how much you value these two things. i can kinda relate to the softball part. like i play but i don't think ive wno any games. this essay made me feel very happy and gittish inside. i liked the part when you wore your jersey to watch the super bol for good luck and they win. that just seems so amazing. i guess that thing is lucky after all. well over all i thought it was a well thought out essay.

Anonymous said...

Hi Anna :)
Great essay! I thought you compared the patriots jersy and the softball game terrificly! It wasn't chopped up at all and you described everything really well. I think you described the softball game the best. I got into it, almost feeling like cheering, and I couldn't stop reading until I knew you got the run! I thought overall you organized your essay really good, and it always made sense. I think the only suggestion I could think of is to work on your word choice, otherwise, keep it uppp. :)

Anonymous said...

Great opening. What is wrong with today’s people? Putting your thoughts in your essay was a good idea. I should’ve done that to my essay. Is your jersey really good luck. Hope so! I liked how you said that you felt on top of the world.

For the softball game, I think you should have added exactly how you felt when you were at bat. Did you feel like your stomach was in knots or that you wanted to puke? Anyway, that’s a great moment that you chose. To help remember it, you should write a story about it with great detail. That’ll help.

Anonymous said...

Anna,
I really liked your essay. It was well written. You clearly described your softball game, and your jersey. “She winds up and throws the pitch. I swing and make contact. The ball goes flying, but I have know clue where.” This provided a great picture. I think your strength was the describing your softball game. It was clear and flowed nice. Maybe try to use better word choice, but it was a great essay and I loved reading it.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anna :]
Really good essay. I thought that it was well written out and I liked how you compared two sports related things. When I read it I felt like I could feel what you were feeling. The paragraph about softball was really descriptive and the way you wrote it reminded me of a sports reporter. I can definitely relate because I play softball and my football team is the Patriots. So I could definitley picture your happiness when they won the Superbowl. Overall, it was a really great essay.

Anonymous said...

Anna,
I thought that this essay was very well written. It was clear to me that your two values were winning your softball game and your Patriots jersey. After reading your essay, I understand why these things are so important to you. I enjoyed how you said that when you hit the ball in your softball game, you just put your head down and run. That's what I do, and it's definitely the best way to run the bases. I think that a strength of your essay was your conclusion. You really tied your two values together and summed up how you felt about values. One thing that I would suggest to you next time, is to spend more time on your values, and less on your introduction and conclusion. Overall, your essay was very well written and I'm glad that I got to read it. Keep up the good work!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Anna!
I really liked your essay. I thought it was very well written. I think the strongest point was when you wrote about softball because there was a lot more detail and feeling put into it. I think that you put a lot of great details in it, and it was very good. I think the only advice I can give you is to just look over your essay a bit more next time because I found a few grammer mistakes, but other than that everything was very well done!

Anonymous said...

Anna, your essay was great to read. I enjoyed reading your very detailed paragraphs about the two items you choose. You really made it seen like you were doing it instead of narrating it. The only thing I would edit is from going to future tense and past tense. Other than that it was a great essay.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anna!
This is a really good essay! It was very well thought out and wonderfuly put. I can see how it was hard for you to choose which item was most valuable to you! I would have had to say that the softball game was more valuable too. I think that your conclusion is very strong and says a lot about who you are and about what you value! I certianly agree with you on how it is very important to value priceless items more than items that hold a price amount.

I also really enjoyed that you put in your first paragraph about how bad peolpe are these days! So true, so ture. It makes me kind of mad to see what your world is coming to. Overall, your essay is very, very good! I would give it an A+! It made me think of how we need to remember what is of true value! We need more people like you Anna!

Anonymous said...

I really liked your essay. I think that you described both events well. I can really tell that you love softball. Your essay depicts that really well. I can also tell that you treasure your Patriots jersey. This was a great essay. I think that the strongest part of your essay was probaply the introduction. There is nothing that could be changed about your essay. The jersey really must be lucky. Really good job.

Anonymous said...

Anna,
I loved your essay. Your introduction was very strong and it made me want to read more. I thought you were very descriptive about your Patriots jersey and your softball game. It was very detailed when you explained why you valued your two topics. I thought some of your sentences were a little confusing, so I would change those. I really enjoyed reading your essay. Great work!

Anonymous said...

Great job Anna!
I really like it, I can tell softball really means a lot to you, just by the way you write about it. I can picture myself watching your softball game and seeing everything you mentioned. I think that if you used more discriptive words it would improve the story. I like the story about the jersey, and I can relate to the family Superbowl parties, they're lots of fun! :)

Anonymous said...

Anna,
Great job on your essay! I think one of the strengths of your essay was your description of the softball game. I could picture you trying your hardest to help your team win. It was definitely your strongest paragraph and I could tell that you value being part of the team. As a suggestion for your next essay, I would say to use stronger vocabulary. Otherwise, your essay was great.